I have always wanted to be a mom. When I was little, I loved playing with baby dolls and loving them like they were really my own. I grew up in a large family of many family members, three brothers, and dozens of cousins.
A few of my jobs have consisted around working with little ones as I enjoy watching them grown and taking care of them. In fact, when going through school, they used to call me the “mama bear” because I always wanted to take care of everyone else.
If I am being honest, I have the absolute best relationship with my mom. I’ve always imagined having my own little that is the spitting image of Beau and me.
From the moment Beau and I met, we talked about having children and what they would be like.
It is an always constant that after you get married, someone, if not many people will say to you, “It’s worth the wait.” I hate when people say it will be worth it, because nothing can compare to the way you feel.
I am sure many of you reading this have felt this way at some point in time. We started when we sold our condo last year and moved into a bigger home that was worthy of brining a baby home to.
When you are young, they teach you that getting pregnant can happen rapidly, and honestly, I thought it would happen right away when we began trying. After a difficult year of watching everyone around me getting pregnant…I began to feel envious and upset.
This post isn’t meant to scare you or to make you feel bad. It is to show you that sometimes, having a baby is much harder than it seems.
Having fertility struggles doesn’t automatically mean you have had a miscarriage. It encompasses a broad range of struggles including trying to conceive for months without success and no further medical issues.
The Struggle of Trying
The struggle is incredibly raw and real.
It is a frustrating process.
There are many moments of watching everyone around you getting pregnant and feeling angry and envious instead of happy. I would like to say that I handle my fertility struggles with patience, but I cannot say that without lying to you.
When I see a one lined pregnancy test and when that time of the month rolls around, it kills me inside. I cannot recall to you have many times my cycle has run late leading me to believe I was pregnant.
Everyone’s struggle is different. While I have no known issues with my body, I know some people who do. I have various friends who have had multiple miscarriages. Friends who have been trying for years with no success.
Friends who have given up because they do not want to suffer another loss. Say what you want about my trying for a little over a year (doctors will tell you that normal as it can take up to a year,) but I consider it MY struggle. I cannot tell you how many stories I have heard about how stress ultimately affects the ability to get pregnant and that after people stop trying, it happens. Unfortunately, the stresses of everyday life are not so easily dismissed.
Learning to manage stress is incredibly difficulty. Its about learning to be okay with saying no to things so that you are more at peace and relaxed.
There have been many struggles, but I very recently decided to start trying “Pink Stork Fertility Tea,” which I purchased on Amazon and have seen wonderful reviews on. While I have been struggling with some kidney stones/infections this month, I am hoping that there is a little sticky bean in there, if not, I am hopeful that this fertility tea will be our golden ticket to seeing our very own little one in nine months.
Never fear as our three doggos are a handful in their own.
Whether you have been struggling for six months, a year, five years, know that you are not alone. Struggling with fertility, having miscarriages…these things happen more often than we talk about. I am so lucky to be married to an amazing man who understands the struggle and is so supportive of everything I do.
Please know that I am an open ear and that you are never alone in your struggle.
I look forward to sharing positive news in the future!
Stay tuned for my news series on our #ttc journey as I share some exciting new products (like vitamins and teas,) that I think you will love and want to try out too!
Stay positive babes and baby dust to you.<3